When my boys were little I made their friends for them. I had met someone in my birthing class – that was a sweetheart – we exchanged numbers and spent the first two years of our boys lives side by side. (We still get together and the boys are entering 1st grade). I would call this particular mom my “soul mother.” We were a lot alike – I loved her company and I loved her son. We agreed on things and sorted out new motherhood together. Do you have a friend like that? If you do then you know exactly what I am talking about.
As time went on I still did the picking for who my son and I were going to hang out with. I would scope out the parents and the child and make a date. Life is easy then. You are the judge and the jury.
Flash forward 6 years and now these friendships are being formed by my sons and not by me. Not by me at all. They decide who they like to be around and I have to kind of “go with it.” I don’t know these families from a hole in the wall and I am being thrust into this whole awkward…”dating” thing -getting to know this family my son is smittin’ with.
Why am I writing this? I just had a playdate over here and I am still feeling my way through this. The Mom seems really nice but…we were awkward. While the kids ran off to play – we stood there. Of course we chatted but this is like a whole other level of motherhood. The Mom left and here I was in charge of this whole playdate. The child was a darling and I saw quickly why Noah found this person fun.
But here is my problem – tomorrow they want Noah to come to their house. Do I do the whole “sure – call me when you need me to get him.” Or do I do the whole –“do you have guns? Do you have dogs? Do you know CPR?” thing? I don’t want my son blacklisted because his Mom is crazy.
I’ll let you know what I end up doing – maybe something in the middle.
Take heed – your child is learning about friendship everytime they are around other children – the park, bellani classes, etc. You are giving them the opportunity to see what feels good about being with others and even what doesn’t feel good.
Yeah – I guess I wish arranged marriages were still around but it seems so far that my boys are making some nice choices.
Namaste,
Lisa
Kelly LaChance Guertin: I'm a lady with a cackle that can be heard in any room. If it comes to Pregnancy or Childbirth I have a real answer, from a mom who knows a little something about it. I have three children, The Boy, age 9; The Girl, age 7, and The Baby, just three years old!
