You see your mother in a whole new way once you yourself become one. I had this aching need to thank her constantly mixed with wanting to scream at her…”Why didn’t you tell me this job would be so hard?” I know it has many, many rewards but having your heart walking outside of your body for all eternity can be overwhelming.

That’s the thing. My Mom made everything look easy. I look back and cannot remember her being real stressed. I can’t remember her being too busy. I can’t remember her being worried. I realize know that she felt all those things but did an amazing job hiding it or maybe I just did a good job ignoring it. She was home with us (my twin sister Heather, myself and my little sister, Amy). My Dad worked a lot but he kept up with us through my Mother’s stories. Every Saturday, he would take us somewhere special. I always felt bad that my mother was not included but now I know she needed a break!

I called my Mom in preparation for writing today. I asked a question I always wanted to but perhaps did not want to hear the reply.

“What do you think of mothers today?”

Her response: “Truthfully, they amaze me. Life is so busy – such a balancing act -running here and there- managing the home and being responsible for your position at work . I guess it makes the children more adaptable. They are used to many adults in their lives – not just their Mom.”(She always turns things around to make them positive!)

“At the same time I wanted more for you than I had. I grew up with six siblings – college was not even an option. We were all hoping to marry. That was our dream. I wanted you to have more. You were in 9th grade before you realized that college was an option not just what you did after high school. You have lived my dream in a way. You have a beautiful family but also something for yourself – you are the first in both of our families to get your undergrad and the first to get your masters degree. That makes me feel happier than you can imagine. “

“What do I think of Mothers today? I think they are educated, intelligent, a bit stressed and amazing at how they handle it all.”

I felt both good and bad after I hung up the phone. I would never be the mother she was. My kids have seen me stressed, busy and worried but perhaps for this generation we are teaching more of a reality. Similar family dreams in a very different time…

Namaste,
Lisa