Posts Tagged ‘bellaniShannon’

My Mom: The Independent

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

So this weeks posts are on: Did our Moms work? This is a tricky question. Of course they all work, 24 hours a day. The main question that usually follows is – did they work inside or outside of the home?

My MomI would like to say that I was lucky because I had a mom who worked “inside” the home for most of my childhood. But as I write this, I feel like a hypocrite because even thought I appreciated that greatly, I am not doing that now. I loved that she would send us off to school (where I grew up in NJ, our town was only 1 mile x 1 mile so there were no buses. We walked everyday and it was uphill BOTH ways!) and be there when we returned. She volunteered for school events (maybe a little too much some times, just kidding mom) and cooked us healthy home made food. I have a sister who is almost 2 years older than me, and we played every sport we could. Soccer in the fall, basketball in the winter, and softball in the spring (and if my mom was really unlucky, we would make the all star team and travel all summer). My sister and I did this from the time we were 5 years old, until High School where that got into another realm of commitments. Since my mom worked “inside” the home, my sister and I were able to attend all of our commitments and activities.

And I do think that is all wonderful, but the main thing my mom worked on, was to make my sister and I independent. She wanted to raise daughters who thought for themselves, who were strong and had boat loads of common sense. We were raised to call our elders Mr.& Mrs., please and thank you was a must and your napkin was always on your lap when you sat at the table. My mom worked on having my sister and I always look at the others person’s point of view, to know that the grass wasn’t always greener on the other side, and even though you may have it good right now, there is someone out there who doesn’t. I don’t think compassion and empathy is something you can teach by words. It must be viewed everyday and witnessed by the youngest of eyes.

So when asked “Did Our Moms Work”, I had to think what my mom worked on. I look at my children right now, so vulnerable at ages 4 and 6 and wonder what they think of their mom working outside the home. I am hoping in the future they will see a strong woman who started a business from scratch because of compassion, vision and drive. I hope they will feel loved and never felt that my “work” was ever more important than they are. It will be interesting to see in 20 years how the views and opinions will have changed for all “working” moms.

-Shannon

Who is bellaniShannon

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

I work two full-time jobs. I am the co owner of Bellani Maternity and a mom to two wonderful boys. Ethan who is 6, and Owen is 4 years old.

I am 100% committed to both. I sometimes wonder how this is possible, then I remember that I never sit down unless to drive someone to school or heading to Bellani. I have to give 100% in everything I do, or I think…what’s the point?

I worry daily that I’m not giving enough to both. Did my children see me enough today? Should I pick Ethan up from school? But if I do, then I will miss the meeting. Would he really care if I was there today? What about Owen who is 4? Do I have enough play time with him? How is this shaping his life? What about Bellani…there is enough work to keep me there 24 hours a day. I love my two jobs and so fortunate to have both, but the constant struggle to not feel guilty can keep me up at night. Balance – is that a possibility?

I sometimes feel others judge me for not choosing between the two. I can hear the tone in another moms voice when she says “oh, I haven’t seen you in awhile, just how are they handling you working so much” or the client who says “you can have that done by tomorrow right” while I’m thinking “I don’t think so because I promised my 6 year old that I would take him to gymnastics tonight then I have a PTA meeting”. Who needs to be in bed before 1:00 am anyway.

My guys

My guys

These are my experiences and I hope that you will be able to share yours with me. I love being a mom, wife, business partner and cherish all my roles. As working moms, things are just different. It’s great to have a place to share stories and learn what helps us us all enjoy this life we have taken on.