what is that thing that has been nagging you for the last few weeks? Is it to read more each day with your child? Or to finish an adult book?  Maybe to upload your holiday photos off of the camera.

Why let it continue to be a pressure inside of you.  Do it! Do whatever it is that haunts you each day.  Just get that one thing done today.  Let everything else go.  I already did my one thing.

kelly

Breastfeeding has been a wonderful journey for me.  It began with my toddler who, to this day at 2.5, still is magically soothed and calmed by nursing.  It continues now as she and her sister, almost 9 months,  share in their love of mama’s milk.  When I was pregnant with my toddler, I approached breastfeeding as a whatever happens, happens type deal.  When all went smoothly, I decided I wouldn’t set a time for nursing to end.  I didn’t feel like it was my choice to make, kind of like if my waiter came over mid-meal, fork rising for me to take a bite, and just swept my meal away right out from under me.

For my family, I believe weaning will happen when all parties involved are mutually ready.  I’m still happy nursing and my toddler doesn’t have an issue with it, so on we go.  I’m not the preachy type so I don’t wave my breastfeeding flag for all to see.  Again with my mantra- to each their own.  However, if someone asks, and they have, I am always up front about the fact that I’m still nursing my toddler.  I find that people are quite curious about how it all works once your child gets a bit older.  In case you were curious, here’s how it has worked out for our family.

• She nurses primarily for nap time and in the evenings before bed.  From time to time, if we spend a long run of days together  without me working, she’ll nurse a bit during the day.
• I nursed her throughout my pregnancy with our second child and all went well.  They say breastmilk may change in flavor or your supply may dry up during pregnancy, therefore, leading to weaning but it wasn’t the case for me.  I think each woman is different.  Be sure to speak with your doctor, midwife or lactation professional if you are pregnant and wish to continue nursing.
• It is tricky but completely possible to nurse a two year old and a baby.  First I get my baby settled in and comfy, then I let the toddler find her own comfy spot out of the way of her sister.  It’s just as tricky and easy to figure out as carrying the two of them.
• When my 2nd was born my toddler went on breastfeeding overdrive.  Anytime my newborn wanted to nurse so did she, which means she was nursing all of the time.  I ate like a beast for the first two - three months and practically had an IV of water running I was so thirsty.  I didn’t mind it, though, because I had to nurse my newborn so it wasn’t something that was taking additional time.
• I cant’ stress enough how important it was for me to eat constantly.  It is exhausting to nurse to children at once.  I had three big meals a day and a gazillion snacks.  If I didn’t eat enough, I’d feel awful.  I kept of healthy snacks within arm’s reach.
• Nursing the newborn and toddler at once was draining but emotionally worth it.  Both my toddler and I were able to feel really connected during our littlest one’s colicky phase.
• Yes, from time to time at a not so convenient time (beginning of the 2nd half of The Nutcracker in our 2nd row seats) my toddler wants to nurse.  I’m a discreet nurser by choice so depending on the location, I’ll drop boob and feed or find a quiet place for us.  I’ve found since my toddler is so big, compared to her sister, I naturally reveal less if I nurse in public.  (BTW - The Nutcracker was a fluke incident resulting from lack of  a nap and sensory overload and excitement being her first time at a ballet performance)
• Yes, there’s an end to nursing.  But I don’t know when it is.  I’m content to keep going.  No, she will not go to high school on the boob.
• We continue to breastfeed because both my toddler and I want to.  The moment either of us isn’t happy with it, then we’ll start to take steps towards weaning.

I didn’t know this was something women did.  From what I’d read and conversations I’d had with other moms, one seemed to be the magical number.  However, since spending more time at Bellani, I’ve heard many a mother mention they’re breastfeeding beyond the one year mark, some even past two.  While I do believe any length of breastfeeding is successful, I wanted to share my experience so other moms considering weaning or continuing going would know they’re not alone.  Let’s hear it for the boob!

~Carla~

Image via Wolfgang Staudt

I thought I’d update last week’s post with our journey to the farmers’ market this week.  I planned ahead and even told Dessa our trip to the market included a nap.  I’m happy to say it was a roaring success!  I have had kettle corn to prove it.  I almost didn’t want to leave it was all going so well but plans with family had us on our way.

I also wanted to share a few thoughts on how I view tantrums.  It can be really, really easy to feel exhausted, defeated, challenged, at your wit’s end, head butted, frustrated, or even like you’re talking to the wall when you and your little one tackle a tantrum.  In the moment of a tantrum there’s nothing else to say besides, “It sucks.”  Lately, though, I’ve been trying to be a little brighter in the midst of those challenging moments.

Last week I share some observations about tantrums and what feels like as a parent during one.  This week, I’m sharing with you my perspective on them and how I get through them.

-My daughter is amazingly well behaved in public (aside, of course, from our trip to the market).  When it’s just the family, however, she is quick to act out.  Given the options, I’d much rather she be an angel in public and, ahem, fiesty with me and my husband.

-I try to remind myself that the fight in her is a facet of her personality - strong willed, independent, determined.  As parents we’re very proactive in encouraging all those traits so I guess we’ve only got ourselves to blame.

-Like I mentioned before I check to see what role I’ve played in everything.  Food or sleep, anyone?

-This is one that really hit home for me.  I read somewhere that children are more likely to act out/throw tantrums with their parents because they trust them.  They aren’t going to be as likely to test their boundaries with someone they don’t trust.  I keep this in mind and try to remember to feel somewhat honored to have my daughter’s trust.  She’s using her interactions with me to determine her own place in the world.

-Whenever I feel like I’ve lost all patience, I remind myself that how I behave during one of her tantrums is going to affect her own relationships.  Every interaction, I believe, is a memory of some sort that can manifest itself in her life at some point.  I want to give her good examples to hold onto.

-I remind myself that this is just a phase.  One day we’ll sit on the beach together as adults and chat as women, as friends.  The terrible twos will only be a distant memory.  It seems like everything now but it’s really just a speck in our lives.

Do you have your own tantrum wisdom that helps you get by?  I’d love to learn about it; feel free to share!

~Carla~

via Smitten Kitchen

As promised, here is Kelly’s Winter Squash Soup recipe.  The temperature is chilly so this is the perfect cozy meal.  If you give it a try, let us know what you think!

Winter Squash Soup (I used butternut)
Saute 1/2-1 Sliced Onion with a little thyme, 1 TB of butter
Add salt and pepper when onions are soft
Then add 2 lbs ish of diced squash, cover with 5 cups of Chicken Broth (or Vegetable
Stock)
Add 1 Chopped Granny Smith Apple
Add two pieces of crumbled, cooked bacon (or not!)
here I add a little garlic or cumin depending on what we feel like

Simmer until tender, and then puree as desired.  If you want to add some fat, you can add
2 Tablespoons of sour cream to the puree, or throw in 1/2 cup of Half & Half for a
creamier consistency.

Happy Eating!

In case you didn’t hear, our very own Kelly was featured in the new release “Feeding Baby Green: The Earth-Friendly Program for Healthy, Safe Nutrition” by Alan Greene, M.D.  I love a good book on nutrition, particularly nutrition for little ones.  I’m the
mom who has on more than one occasion served ice cream as dinner (and breakfast and lunch - though not all on the same day).  I didn’t grow up in a household where nutrition was part of the discussion for creating family meals.  Nutrition took a backseat to flavor.  So I am in awe of moms like Kelly who can combine good nutrition with good tasting food.  Here the ice cream serving mom picks at the brain of the Martha Stewart mom.

Kelly, first off congrats on being included in the book!  Can you share a bit more about the philosophy you wrote about in the book?

Dr.  Greene has a great way of encouraging families to try new things  early on so that your child will be a more well-rounded eater.   I feel similarly, and wrote about how easy it can be to do that with  what you already are cooking.

How did your own upbringing influence your approach to food with  your family?

Growing up my father was a very picky eater, and my mom  a very bland cook.  For many, many years we were raised as  vegetarians.  When I went out into the world and started trying so  many new things I knew that I wanted my children to be far more  adventurous with their food.  Food then became more of a passion of  mine, and I’ve found my children want to be part of my hobbies.

You are a mom of three and run your own business.  How do you find the time to make nutritious meals?

Some weeks and months I balance it  pretty well.  I’m a big fan of pre-chopping lots of vegetables on  grocery shopping day.  I also batch cook, I try and get four or five  meals done at a time on a day or evening off.  I also have phases of  making the best choices that I can in the Trader Joes Frozen Food  section.

Make me feel better.  Do you ever do take out?

Of course!  My  husband and I love to eat out, and so do our children.  What is  different about our take out is that my children
will ask for  California Rolls, or a Burrito, or their current favorite (although  not terribly nutritious) Boneless Buffalo Wings.

How do you involve your kids in the cooking process?  Do they all naturally love to be in the kitchen?

Our play area, dining room,  and kitchen are all open to each other.  You pretty much have to be  part of my cooking!  I spend a great deal of time at our little  Island area where I can see the other rooms.  From early on the kids  have always helped cook.  Caden’s knife skills were really strong by  three years old, and recently I started teaching him about ways to  dice onions.  He enjoys the methodology in baking, and the exact  measurements of things.  Abi is all about watching things mix up.   She also finds it incredibly interesting to talk about where things  have come from, and how they get to the plate. Emilia just wants to  try
everything, so she does!

What are your top three crowd pleasing  recipes that are surprisingly healthy?

I asked my husband the other day what his favorite meal in house is, and he told me that I never make the same thing twice so it is hard to name a favorite!  I’m always on the search for something new!  A simple one in our house right now is Baked Eggplant Pizzas.  I bake breaded eggplant, put a little tomato sauce on top and then cover in cheese.  The kids make them it themselves
right at the table.  We pretend like the eggplant is pizza crust.  Super easy to make ahead of time and freeze too! My pasta sauce is an adaptation of Shannon’s and that is always on hand at our house.  I use tomatoes, pureed sweet potato, pureed carrots,
cannelini beans and cheese.  After is has simmered for an hour I puree it all down.  The kids never think twice about it.

Since it has gotten so cold recently we are eating a lot of soup.  Kids love soup, and so do parents.  Soup is so easy to throw a lot into with no one complaining.  Just yesterday I made a lovely Winter Squash Soup.  The hint with this soup is letting the
kids use day old bread, or croutons for texture.  (Check back tomorrow for this tasty recipe!)

Aside from Dr. Greene’s book, what other food/nutrition books do you recommend for parents?  Or for the time starved, what websites are a good reference? I’m addicted to the Annabel Karmel books.  I also use RecipeZaar.com almost every day.  What I love about it is the nutritional information on the left.  I know my children need lots of healthy fats in their diet, but their parents don’t.  If you can’t figure out why food is important to your little one I think a parent should read NDD (Nutritional Deficit Disorder) written by Dr. Sears.  Although, I can’t say my kids would drink any of his shakes. (Carla says: Surprisingly, my toddler loves green shakes or any kind of healthy shake, so worth a try!)

Now that Bellani has it’s own published foodie expert, when can we pick your brain again? Speed dial in the kitchen?  Facebook message?  Text on demand?

You can call me at home but I won’t be able to hear you over my children.  If you have a food-related question a great place to ask is either on the blog or facebook.  You will be amazed how many parents have the same questions, posting in a public way
you will not only get my answer, but usually a parent or two can chime in as well!  Another fabulous way to learn a great deal more is to sign up for one of our Baby Food  Making Workshops. The next class for families who want to learn more about First Foods  is January 21st at 6 pm.  For families who want to dig a little deeper, we have a Beyond  Avocado group meeting on February 25th at 6pm.

Thank you, Kelly, for letting us into your kitchen!  Be sure to check back tomorrow for the soup recipe!

Image by peasap

Two weekends ago,we ventured out in the snow to the Pawtucket/Wintertime Farmers’ Market and had a blast.  It’s the perfect place for kids to run around and learn a little something about eating local.  After we left, I couldn’t stop thinking about the maple syrup kettle corn popcorn from Nettie’s Kettle Corn.  I’m talking days later I still couldn’t stop thinking about it so I decided I’d go again this past weekend even though I’d be solo with both girls.

The day started out lovely.  Happy toddler,  happy baby, happy dad off to work and happy mom.  Girls were dressed and in the car by 9:30am for the 11am start of the market.  I made a quick trip for diapers, wipes and a few other essentials we’d run out of.  I made it all the way to the car and had to run back in to take the toilet training toddler to potty.  All smooth sailing!  The baby fell asleep on the drive to Pawtucket which made for a perfect 20 minute nap.  I pulled around the back of Hope Artist Village and peered into the back seat to check on my toddler who was oddly silent.  I turned just in time to watch her eyes close (warning sign 1).

With the sweet taste of kettle corn on my mind I ignored the warning sign and told her we were going inside to eat some apples and listen to music.  She perked right up and I pulled into a parking space.  I hopped in the back seat to wake up Farrah and change a diaper to which Dessa burst into tears and told me I couldn’t change a diaper because it was time to go inside (warning sign 2).  I assured her we were still going inside but the diaper change had to be done.  I told her I knew she was tired and she could sit in her stroller to relax and enjoy the market.  She was soothed and waited, though not patiently, for the diaper change to be done.

I make my way nto the farmers’ market looking like a Bellani billboard - Farrah in her Ergo baby carrier, Haba binky chain dangling off the side, SkipHop diaper bag on one shoulder, Uppa Baby G-Lite on the other, Sophie the Giraffe squeaking in my pocket.  When I got inside, I felt like I’d conquered Mt. Everest.  The satisfaction of actually getting inside with both of them and all my shtuff was enough to make my day.  But the kettle corn had me on a journey.

I picked up some yummy Indian food and parked us just outside the circle of kids listening and dancing to  music.  I gave Dessa her water bottle and it landed on the ground (warning sign 3); naively I thought it had fallen but really she threw it.  The next few moments are a blur.  I take the water bottle and tell her she can’t throw things.  She bursts into tears.  She starts thrashing her body in her stroller as if she’s trying to use her chest to burst through the straps.  Tears are falling.  She’s crying in a scream-ish kind of way.  Farrah, in the Ergo, is smiling from ear to ear and enjoying the sights.  Me?  I try to pull into an empty space to talk to Dessa unaware we’re past the talking point, attempting to stay as zen as possible.

How did my trip to the farmers’ market end?  We left immediately after my failed attempt at talking to the tantruming toddler.  A sweet little girl came up to see why Dessa was crying, as all young children do when one of their own seems upset.  Dessa, saint that she usually is, tried to kick the poor girl.  I was mortified, smiled and offered sincere apologies to the parents and walked, toddler screaming, baby happy as could be straight to the car.

Toddlerhood is quite amazing.  I can go days (ok maybe a day) without remembering how challenging this age is and then all hell breaks loose.  I thought I’d share this story for all those parents who are having one of those days.  You’re not alone.

For kicks, here are some observations/tips from my tantrum experiences:

• Onlookers: please refrain from attempting to appease my child.  Your heart is in the right place (and I really appreciate it) but my child’s brain is not.  Just get out of the way so we can get to our car ASAP!
• If you’re child has a tantrum in a place with lots of other children, on your way out you will feel like you’re walking through a sea of angels - skipping, singing, holding hands, sharing, halos and all as your kid screams bloody murder.
• Do NOT ignore warning signs.  Ever.  Ever.  Eva.
• I can’t imagine what my toddler thinks of her younger sister who observed the whole thing as though nothing were happening.  It’s like having an argument with someone and your siblings is standing right there just smiling in lalaland!  It might be tough for some toddlers but it’s a great source of energy for me when I’m at my wits end.  I couldn’t lose my cool with Miss Drool smiling away.
• Evacuate fist, then talk.  Lesson learned =)
• Feed them and let them sleep.  Feed them and let them sleep.  Feed them and let them sleep.

After we got home and took a long two hour nap, Dessa awoke on cloud nine surely having dreamt of a field of puppies and bunnies and trays of chocolate ice cream, mac and cheese and pizza.  Me?  I’ll be dreaming of maple syrup kettle corn popcorn.

What are your tantrum taming tactics?

Let’s organize our Homes in 2010!  This first step from Kelly LaChance Guertin is a great, easy way to organize books within your home!

Image via Pink Sherbert Photography

I’m not a fan of resolutions.  It drives me batty that people rush the end of one year to hurry the next one in.  Besides, most resolutions, however well intentioned, don’t get fulfilled.  So I’m going to do things a bit differently.  Instead of chatting up 2010 in 2009, I’m going to celebrate 2009 in this here first week of 2010.  Last year was a kick ass year.  I’m going to share with you why my 2009 rocked and the lessons I learned.  Join me in celebrating!

• I pushed a baby out of my vagina.  Lesson learned: I am woman hear me roar.  My body can do anything.
• I left corporate America.  Lesson learned:  Follow your gut.  Let fear drive sometimes.  Leap.
• I watched my daughter become a big sister.  Lesson learned:  Sisterhood is magic.  The future is bright.
• I celebrated marriage and birth in my family.  Lesson learned:  Family is everything.  Everything for a reason.
• I got completely engulfed & lost in motherhood the 2nd time around.  Lesson learned:  Don’t fight.  Life gives you what you need.
• I got all sorts of lucky.  Lesson learned: Believe.  If you send it out, you’ll get it back.

Alright, now your turn.  What made 2009 amazing for you?  How did you grow last year?

~Carla~

I am a MWAC (mom with a camera) and proud of it!! I know my children are growing up too fast and want to capture our family life, our everyday-crazy life from potty to prom (ok not quite but I did take and adorable potty pic of the baby but it’s because the light was great…I swear you can barely notice she’s on a potty).

With the onslaught of winter weather and more snow falling today I thought I would share some tips for snow photos which believe or not can be tricky! Have you noticed that your fun outside snow shots look extra dark and the snow looks more gray than white? Does your child look a tinge blue? That’s because the camera is reading the blinding white snow and thinks “ohh too much light I better make your subject (in this case the snow) darker.”

If you own a DSLR
You can adjust the exposure compensation up (usually moving it from 0 to +1 will do it). If you don’t know how to do this check the manual (or if you shoot Nikon post a comment and I will try to help).  If you bump the exposure compensation up too mush it will look too white, too blown out. Here are two pictures, one with camera read exposure (gray) and one by bumping the exposure compensation.

without exposure compensation

*with* exposure compensation

My point and shoot, which is about a fours years old, does not have any manual options I use two methods to achieve better snow pics. The first is to use the flash, yup sounds crazy but don’t forget the flash adds light to image so in the case is takes the darker gray to more acceptable white. There are limitations as a flash is only good for a very short distance -5 to 8 feet range so remember to double check distance when using the flash. The second method is to cheat is post processing. I use a combination of lightroom and Photoshop but you should be able to lighten the photos in Picasa or another free editing software.

Cameras and Cold Weather
Cameras don’t really like the cold, especially lenses and batteries. When you bring your camera indoors after being outside let it sit without using till it warms up to room temperature. I don’t really take too many precautions with my camera in the snow…bad I know. I remind my son snowballs are ok for Mom’s head, not the camera. 

One last thing….Remember don’t spend all your time documenting….pulling the sleigh, building the snowman, and sneak snowball attacks are part of the Mommy Job Description so get in the action too!

Stacey

Over the last several days we’ve had lots of folks come in looking to finish off their holiday shopping. Parents, parents-to-be, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends and lots and lots of little ones will be getting gifts that came from Bellani. It warms our hearts to know we have helped families make the holiday season special.

We wanted to take this opportunity to thank you, the Bellani community, for making our holiday special. You know the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”? Well, Bellani is our baby and you are our village. We’re not just talking about the dollars you spend here, though they are appreciated (it’s nice to have heat and lights running). We’re talking about your presence here.

Every time a new parent walks through our doors, they have at their fingertips professional opinions about the tough job of parenting. But want to know the coolest part? They walk into a community rich in experience - you’re experience. Parents may sometimes need technical answers but a lot of the time they’re looking for the real experts, other parents. The best gift our business provides new parents is parents who’ve graduated into the next stage in parenting. Every parent who has been here since their baby/babies were born has played an important part in making our community a welcoming and accepting place for first time parents.

So thank you for playing such an important role in making our business successful. We appreciate your support and we wouldn’t be here without you. Here’s to a great 2010. 2009 has been an important milestone for us at Bellani and we are looking forward to meeting new families and keeping ties to the families we have grown with over the years. Cheers!

Best,
Your Bellani Family
Kelly, Shannon, Carla, Andrea, Maryann, Amanda, Deana, Deb, Mindy, Heather, Jennifer, Mimi, Sarah