Despite all the hype about Hurricane Earl, I’ve done little to prepare.  Our cupboards and fridge are comfortably nearing almost but not quite low status (our freezer, though, is nice and full thanks to Trader Joe’s).  I have a few toys lined up which have been in storage (another way of saying I put them away and forgot we had them) but I’ve made a very serious, much needed decision.  If indeed we are home-bound the entire weekend, I’m putting my little girls to work.

That’s right.  I’m putting their tiny little energy to good use and giving our home a good seasonal cleaning.  Before you think me a slave driver, please know my kidlets get tremendous joy – yes, joy – out of cleaning and helping around the house.  So I cut my list of play activities in half and replaced it with household chores – vacuum, mop, organize books, donate find a home for stuffed animals, catch up on laundry, clean out cupboards (a good excuse to make up random meals) and clean toys (a favorite since, inevitably, it requires one last good playing with before a good scrub down).

Give it a try.  Fill a small spray bottle with water or a non-toxic cleaning solution, give your child some cloth and let them take pride in caring for their home.  I don’t have expectations that my girls will clean non-stop so we’ll take breaks in between to read books, play or just lie around be silly.  But getting some house work done, for this very non-Martha mama, is always a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  Not to mention it means that once the kidlets go to bed, my evening is all mine; I won’t be debating between wanting to indulge in watching “Say Yes To The Dress” with ice cream on the couch or doing the dishes.

If you’re not in a cleaning mood or if you’re home is already spotless (good for you!), tell us – what’s your favorite rainy day activity?  We’re talking about activities to keep kids entertained, Facebook sales don’t count =)

~Carla~

From music to art to Spanish to gym to yoga to literature- Bellani offers a class for every one.  If you haven’t tried one of our classes, here’ s our top ten list of reasons to take a class at Bellani!  And if you’re a regular, let us know what your favorite class has been and why.  Or just let us know why you keep coming back for more!

1. Babies and young children love other little people!  Our classes are a fantastic way for your child to make new friends.  We’ve been very lucky to witness many, MANY first friendships that have continued on into the preschool years and beyond.
2. Moms, dads and caregivers love other grown-ups!  Classes are a great way for grown-ups to connect and make new friends with children the same age.  We know parents who met in our classes with one child and now have multiply children who all play together.
3. Our gym classes are a great way to introduce your child to the importance of physical fitness.  Kids learn how fun fitness can be and how exciting it can be to share it with family and friends.
4. Our art classes and book club classes, offer a great way to introduce all new experiences to your child – experiences you may not think to introduce at home.  From learning to use scissors to play dough to glitter and glue to creating art with straws and marshmallows, children get to use their senses to express their creativity.
5. Each of our classes teaches children that learning can be fun and exciting.  And that’s a lesson that can never be taught too soon.
6. Our music classes introduce children to new and different sounds.  Children are naturally drawn to music and our classes give them a playful environment to discover music.  At Bellani, young children find a love for music, instruments, song and dance early on.
7. They’ll sleep better.  We all know children sleep better if they’ve had plenty of opportunity during the day to exert their energy – physical and creative energy!
8. Itsy Bitsy Yoga is a wonderful opportunity to bond with your infant and learn amazing techniques to make the early weeks of parenthood a little easier.  We’re not kidding – some of the techniques will help with digestion, soothe baby to sleep and even calm a fussy baby.
9. You’ll learn fun and new ways to play with your child.  We’ve met many parents who were surprised by what their child was capable of – hanging on the bar, tumbling, drawing shapes, playing instruments, using scissors, etc.  At Bellani, we give parents and children a safe environment to challenge themselves.
10. Support.  There’s nothing more families need than support.  When you come to classes you’ll meet our wonderful staff who are all really passionate about young children.  You’ll discover Bellani is a place where you can be the kind of parent you want to be without any judgement.

Alright now, what’s your best reason for taking a class at Bellani?

Colleen’s latest post ends up being really timely for me, because it helped to catalyze some sort of vague ideas I had bouncing around in my head. Circumstantial factors helped, too: I happened to see the most recent post pop up on my iPhone while I was sitting in the passenger seat of a DCYF van, riding alongside the Child Protective Services investigator I was shadowing for the day.

We all judge each other, all the time. We rarely say anything about it, of course. If I’m sitting a few tables down from you at a restaurant and see you chewing with your mouth open, I’ll scoff silently. If you see me walking down the street with my shoes untied or my pant cuffs tucked into my socks somehow, you’ll probably experience a little mental snigger. We judge each other’s driving, our choice of romantic partners, our wardrobes, our taste in music, our Facebook posts, our writing, our singing, our posture, and, of course, we judge each other’s parenting.

How often have I caught myself thinking less of someone for making a different parenting choice than I did? More often than I’d like. Cloth diapers vs. disposables. Plastic toys vs. wood. Plastic bottles vs. glass. Sleep training vs. co-sleeping. Strollers vs. baby-wearing. Breast milk vs. formula. Midwives vs. OB-GYNs. Nannies vs. day care. Staying home vs. returning to work. Pacifiers. Junk food. Discipline. Clothing.

(I want to emphasize quickly that although this post has coalesced as something of a response to Colleen’s post (or perhaps it’s simpler to say that it’s inspired by what Colleen wrote) it’s not at all intended as a criticism of anything she said or did. I wholeheartedly agree that, yes, babies belong in car seats, and I applaud her decision to notify the police that this family was being so obviously unsafe. I wish I could say with confidence that I’d have done the same thing. Parenting may be mostly shades of gray, but some things are blank and white, and this is pretty clearly one of them.)

A recent blog post at the New York Times shared the experiences of a lawyer who represents parents accused of abusing or neglecting their children. She describes what happens when the instinct to judge another’s parenting is taken to its logical and legal extreme. To be sure, there are parents out there who should be judged. There are parenting choices that are, simply, objectively, better than others, and some that should never be made at all. Still, that impulse to judge, to disapprove, to intervene can become extremely hard to resist when it’s directed at someone who already has a history of making bad decisions.

I can’t tell you anything about the DCYF case that I witnessed, except to say that it involved a family reacting badly to a crisis that I would expect any family to react badly to. It just happened that this family was already in the system, and so warning signs become red flags, and red flags send white vans driving out from Providence. (I do want to say that the investigator I had the privilege of shadowing handled the entire situation with incredible poise, professionalism, and compassion: I was humbled and impressed.)

I think of myself in my worst parenting moments: when I’m at my wits end and snap at my children, or pull them too roughly out of harm’s way, or say something, exasperated, forgetting that they can understand. I wouldn’t want anyone to witness these moments; I can imagine how they’d look through the eyes of an average, judgmental parent-on-the-street, much less through the eyes of someone bearing the card of the Department of Children, Youth, and Families.

And look at me: even in my worst parenting moments, I’m married to the mother of my children, we both work at good-paying jobs that we enjoy, we have family and friends nearby who are able and willing to help, and we can afford food, shelter, clothing, and quality child care. I have every advantage. When I’m driven to the edge and fail to be the parent I want to be, should I be judged for it? Well, maybe. And so should anyone, perhaps. But parenting is fundamentally about compassion: compassion for our children most of all, but also for ourselves and for each other, each struggling to do the best we can for the ones we love most.

I’ll try to remember that the next time I find myself shaking my head in middle-class disapproval at the parent with the shopping cart full of soda, or the kid I think is over- or under-dressed, or the house that’s full of Fisher-Price instead of Melissa and Doug. And I’ll try especially hard to remember it the next time I have the urge to tell another parent that the way I’m doing it is the right way.

(Still, people: kids go in car seats, infants sleep on their backs, and no honey before age one.)

~Matt~

I was browsing through family photos the other day (and by photos, I mean thousands of unorganized pictures sitting on my hard drive screaming out at me to be photo booked, scrapbooked, or given attention of some sort) and marveling at how much we are able to do together as a family.  I have great shots of us exploring the sea shore with a baby on my back, hiking with a baby in an Ergo, walking across a river with a baby in a sling, and wandering around amusement parks with a baby in a wrap.  This is not the life I had pictured a person who had chosen to have three kids three and under would live.  For some reason, I had always assumed having babies around slowed you down–that a home with a baby was one where all of the family members sat around taking turns holding the squirmy, fussy, needy person who had come along, created a rather burdensome situation, and destroyed all of the fun.  Luckily for me, this has not been the case.  I do not sit at home and stare at my babies and obsess over how much they have slept or eaten.  We go on adventures!  We go to the park, to the aquarium, to the beach, to the zoo, and to the library.  We go on hikes, visit farms, pick seasonal fruit, attend play dates, and take fun classes.  Having babies around has not only created more fun in my life, it has given me the opportunity to relive my amazing childhood through the eyes of my children.  For me, being a mother is, in a word, awesome.

Three years ago when Jameson was a rather energetic toddler and Madelyn, my 34 week preemie, was a tiny ball of need, I had my doubts.  I tried to continue living the active life I had become accustomed to, but was finding myself both physically and emotionally drained.  It seemed impossible to keep my little guy entertained while dragging his baby sister around in her rather clumsy and cumbersome car seat.  During a routine family visit with our fantastic chiropractor, Kelly Frye, she recommended I stop carrying around the twenty pound car seat and start carrying my six pound baby.  Funny how that never occurred to me.  She also gave me some Bellani brochures and urged me to stop in on my way home.

It’s funny how you have those moments that change the way that the rest of your life plays out.  I heeded Kelly’s advice that night, stopped in for a lovely visit with Bellani Kelly, and returned home with a Hotsling.   I remember this as a remarkable and life changing event simply because that was the day I stopped doing what everybody else did. I stopped dragging around my babies in their buckets like everybody else did and started wearing them.  Words cannot express what a find this was for me!.  From that day on, I did not remove the baby bucket from the car.  My back no longer hurt.  My baby never felt left out.  And best of all, I was no longer encumbered by a baby that couldn’t be doing what I was doing.  From then on, she did what I did.  It was great!  Without this total lifestyle change, I would not have all of those wonderful pictures of all of the things I do with my kids.  In fact, I would probably be sitting at home staring at my babies and obsessing over how much they had slept or eaten.

I was and still am totally in love with my sling.  Everywhere I go, people rave over the beautiful pattern and remark on how comfortable we both look.  I am a regular poster girl for Bellani, giving directions to the shop every time someone asks.  “Do you know where Chili’s and David’s Bridal are in Warwick?  Well, behind there…”  When Madelyn was one, we invested in an Ergo carrier since her weight was becoming a bit too much for one shoulder to carry, and I fell in love all over again.  (I will admit to squishing her into the sling until she was perhaps a bit too large and the old ladies feared her legs would lose circulation, just because I love snuggling sling babies so much.)  The Ergo is a fantastic fit for me since I am so used to doing everything on the go.  It buckles on quickly and easily, so I am not slowed down as I pull kids out of car seats.  My favorite feature is the hood, which I use several times a day to cover a sleepy nursing baby while I roam the aisles of the grocery store or push the kids on the swing on the playground.   We are always completely comfortable, and I use it both as a front carrier or a baby backpack.

These days, I am often adorned with several babies at a time.  On the five days a week that I care for my 6 month old niece Sophia, she rides up front in a sling while my one year old Lily is my back seat passenger in the Ergo.  (This also works with two Ergo’s.)  After several trial runs, I am now able to quickly gear up and have my hands free for my two bigger children.  Baby wearing gives me the flexibility to run around the playground, to bop in and out of stores, to make dinner on days when everyone needs to be held, and to simply make it from the house to the car in one trip with two babies.  Had I not discovered Kelly and Shannon, Bellani, the hotsling, and the Ergo, life as I know it would not be possible.  I just love it when the stars align.  So, to all of you babywearers out there, how has your life been enhanced by your baby carrier?  What are you able to do that would have been otherwise been off limits?  Please share your favorite baby wearing moments!

Without fail, at least once a day a loyal, long term customer will tell us they had no idea Bellani offered a membership option.

So in case you didn’t know, here are the amazing benefits of a Bellani Maternity membership:

• 10% off selected classes
• 10% off products (excludes strollers, car seats & breast pumps)
• Exclusive access to Bellani Bargains (read below for more information)
• Unlimited use of the resource library
• Unlimited use of the baby-weight lactation scale
• Free home delivery of hospital grade breast pump rental
• Free workshops & events
• 20% off lactation consultations
• Free admission to drop-in playgroups ($5 for non-members)

The newest benefit of membership is the Bellani Bargains weekly email.  Every Wednesday, members receive an exclusive Bellani Bargains email featuring one unique product up for grabs at 20 – 60% off the retail value.  These huge savings are only made available to our members.  The items featured in Bellani Bargains include items we carry in store, as well as, special order items we do not regularly carry.  We also try to make available customer favorites such as The Learning Tower and Melissa and Doug Shopping Cart.  Bellani Bargains is our extra special way of saying, “Thanks!”

Membership is only $6.00 per month. Pay for the first six months upon joining, then remain a member as long as you’d like or cancel at anytime. You can also prepay for one year and get one month free (12 months for the pricce of 11).

What are you waiting for?  Start enjoying the benefits today!

Over the last several months, our readers have been enjoying first person accounts of moms welcoming their babies into the world. Today, we’ve got something a little different as one proud mama’s birth doula shares her caring perspective on the birth she assisted and witnessed.  Enjoy!

Bellani New Moms Group Alumni

This is a common scene, right? We’re driving home from running some errands and decide as a treat to stop by the playground to kill some time. The four of us roll into Humboldt Park, and the kids proceed to tear it up in the way that kids do.

(As a side note, because we hadn’t exactly planned to go to the playground, and because we sometimes let the kids influence what we dress them in, Eloise was wearing an adorable but completely impractical skirt and brand new white sandals. Just the thing. We must have looked like those parents who dress their daughter in inappropriately dressy girly clothes all the time. We’re not those parents!)

There were a handful of people there, including three mothers, each with a young daughter about the same age, who seemed to be casually acquainted. One of their kids kind of wandered over to where Eloise was playing and so the three of us ended up tossing a ball back and forth. The new kid, Sadie, was adorable, and the small talk with her mother was pleasant, and I thought, “Hey, new friend?”

And then they had to leave and I found myself kind of weakly waving goodbye.

How do new parents connect with one another and schedule these “playdates” that I’ve heard so much about? I’m sure that we’re at something of a disadvantage because both Rachel and I work full time, so we’re not often a part of the weekday kid scene. (Back before I went back to work, I befriended some of the other parents in the delightful classes we took at Bellani, but since I was demoted from “stay-at-home dad” to just “dad” I haven’t had a chance to see any of them.) But even on a weekend, when I do make meaningful eye contact or pleasant chit-chat with another parent hovering by the jungle gym, I have no idea how to seal the deal.

I think it’s so awkward and difficult because it’s essentially like trying to hit on someone you just met; I wasn’t any good at that back when I was single, and I’ve been cozily partnered up for more than a decade. There’s just no way I’m going to be able to successfully pick someone up at a playground.

I often wonder how much of it is gender-related. I see little clutches of moms that seem to gather together as if by some kind of electromagnetic force. Is new parenting secretly a “no boys allowed” club? Or does a guy wandering up to a bunch of women just exacerbate the creepy pick-up vibe? “Hi there. I think our kids are about the same age… laydeez.”

(This reminds me of a YouTube video that’s a couple of years old but is still, I think, funny. There’s probably nothing in it that’s precisely inappropriate for a family-friendly blog like this, but I feel that I should warn you, as Ira Glass occasionally says, that this video does acknowledge the existence of sex.)

I am generally baffled as to how new parents find each other. Most of our pre-kid friends still don’t have kids, and although we’ve met a few new friends with children, our social circle seems pretty narrow. How do you all do it?

~Matt~

Happy Friday!  We have lots of friends counting down the hours o 5pm to get the weekend started. So today we’re sharing a few of our favorite links from around the web to help the time go by a little faster.  Share with us, what have you been enjoying online lately?

• Two babies share, quite possibly, the coolest birthdate and time ever.
• A new take on personalized art for your child’s room.
• Some pretty neat ideas for birthday party planning.
• For those folks with an iPhone, these apps are too cute not to try.
• First came the bromanace now the momance, all about “dating” other moms.
• We’d pick one post but we like just about everything dad Joel posts.

Hope you enjoy!

~Colleen~

Thanks for the great tip!  Bellani loves to bring families together through music.  Check out our Fall selection of music classes – Rock A Baby, ABC Music and Me and Music Together!