The play room is the heart of our home, the place in our house where we clock the most hours. Playing is a child’s work, and my kiddos and I toil away in there for several hours every day of the week.  It’s where we do craft projects, have dance parties, dress up as princesses and superheroes, put on puppet shows, read books, and bake pretend cookies. Our collection of toys is a five year compilation of fun and educational opportunities that encourage the early physical, intellectual, and social development of the short people in this house.  I take pride in the learning that goes on in there and often stand in the door marveling at the way my little darlings interact; happy voices behind the tiny people in the wooden doll house in the corner.  A visitor to our home recently glanced at this room I hold so sacred and told me we had a lot of “stuff.”  Stuff?!   To my surprise, I was offended and found myself defending its purpose and the role of toys in the life of a child.   It did give me pause, though, as I looked around the room through the eyes of an outsider and saw how much we do have.  How much is too much?

Before I had two genders and four age groups of children for which to provide appropriate fodder for entertainment, we kept everything.  There was plenty of room to neatly arrange the volumes of plastic figurines, stacks of art projects, and bins of princess garb.  As our family grew and with each new addition came the reinfusion of baby gear into our already crowded space, we began to bust at the seams.   Lately, a birthday party with friends or a visit from Santa feels like the sky opening up and raining toys, each one taking a footprint of the precious space that is already at a premium. Before such a deluge, we try to preform a preparatory sift through the play room, picking out toys that are broken, missing pieces, don’t have a proper home, or have simply been forgotten.  The entire process proves torturous for our very sentimental five year old who holds onto fond memories in every single item.  I can imagine flashing forward forty years and seeing him as the unwitting subject of an expose on hoarders being broadcast on late night television.

Arms crossed, brows deeply creased, and lips pursed in a pout, my boy was convinced  I was going to get rid of the things he loved, and more determined than ever to keep everything he has ever owned. He was hurting. Although the easier answer to this is to simply not involve him in the process and to declutter by night while the boy sleeps, I can see a life lesson in all of this.  So, I rolled up my sleeves, sat down on the floor, and braced for impact. Much to the surprise of both myself and my reluctant counterpart, we had fun!   I calmly explained I was trying to help him better be able to use his toys; that his bins were too heavy and his shelves piled so high he couldn’t get to everything without help anymore. We focused on what we did use and put aside what we didn’t, quickly moving from one category to the next as we found homes for the toys, books, games, puzzles, and art supplies. After enduring an expected few melt downs, taking frequent breaks, and a dolling out a boat load of patience and understanding, we finally completed the project and were able to sit back and admire our work.  With like toys sorted into cube shaped bins and neatly slid onto shelves and a clearly defined work space, there was finally a place for everything and everything was in its place. Jameson came out on the other side with several boxes to donate to charity and to pass onto his friend, an understanding there is a time for letting go, an affirmed trust that his mom is indeed in his corner, and a tidy play room with all of his toys easily accessible. Not bad for a day’s work, I suppose.

Some things I learned along the way:

• Everything needs an assigned spot. If it starts out in the right place, it can go back there when your child is done playing. We used this along with a toy box, a tall book shelf, and several soft sided bins.
• It’s important for a child to have his/her own space. Having a kid-sized table and chair set gives the littles some autonomy and a fun place to do puzzles, crafts, clay, and building projects.  (Especially when there’s a baby on the floor who might otherwise knock down towers, break ceramic tea cups, or choke on legos.)
• It is easier to let something special go when you have found it a new home. (We sent Jameson’s trains and blocks, once prized possessions, to his 2 year old friend Dominic’s house.)
• Establishing a predictable pattern for decluttering at an early age is wise. We have agreed as a family that, moving forward, we will spend five minutes on this new habit every Friday.
• Melissa and Doug toys are fantastic. Well made, meant to withstand the test of time, and focused on specific developmental targets.  They also come cleverly encased within their very own storage containers that stack up neatly.

In the end, I think we have come up with a system of organization based on categorization and frequent clean outs. It’s hard to know what to save, especially knowing subsequent children might someday get use out of it.  There’s only so much basement and attic space one family can dedicate to the what-if’s of the future.  How does everyone else contain the clutter?  How do you handle the emotional needs of a child who is attached to all his “stuff?”

~Colleen~

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 4th, 2010 at 7:56 am and is filed under Parenting Lifestyle. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can trackback from your own site.