The news of my pregnancy came the morning of Thanksgiving 2008.  Six months prior, we had just moved from California to Massachusetts  and we had moved yet again from Belmont, MA to Providence, RI.  We’d only been trying to get pregnant for 3 months so we were surprised to be pregnant so soon but delighted.  Like most people, we decided not to say anything until I was past the first trimester, “just in case”.  I broke way before that but my husband maintained his secrecy until I was 3 months pregnant.  Once I got over the fatigue of the first trimester it was pretty much smooth sailing from then on.

My “due date” was July 17th, 2009 and although they say not to fixate on that date it is nearly impossible.  Between the 10 people daily who ask you what the due date is and your giddy anticipation, that day becomes the finish line in your mind.  Of course, only 5% of all women give birth on their due date so we should know better but still I was secretly thinking about that date everyday.  I’d chosen to forgo most of the recommended tests and such based on the fact that I had always been healthy and strong and my pregnancy was easy.  I feel that I know my body very well and I’d know if I needed medical intervention.  As I researched birthing options I kept feeling myself drawn to Home Birthing which I eventually chose to elect as my birth plan when I was about 5 months pregnant.  I hadn’t done any ultrasounds which was my choice but I also hadn’t realized that if you get an early ultrasound they can amend your due date to a more accurate date.  This came as an annoying surprise when my midwife, Michelle (much to her own dismay as well),  told me that if I went past 42 weeks I’d have to be induced… at the hospital!

I should rewind a bit.  I was about 2 weeks from my due date and I was starting to feel hot, uncomfortable and antsy to give birth.  I started doing all the recommended natural induction methods.  I did it all, swam in the cold ocean, sex, blue/black cohosh, acupuncture, reflexology, yoga, castor oil (the worst) and several others.  I felt like I just wanted to wait for my baby (I didn’t know the sex at that point) to come when he/she was ready.  Because of Michelle’s affiliation with the hospital she couldn’t allow that or her license would be on the line.  Basically, she said, you have until Thursday to give birth or we have to induce at the hospital.  She felt awful about it and we sat and tried to figure something out.

By Thursday I hadn’t given birth and she said I only had two options.  Go to the hospital or give birth at home without a midwife present.  Well, neither of those options sounded appealing but I’d felt so strongly about home birthing and all I wanted was a gentle entrance for my baby.  I sobbed and she listened and I sobbed some more.  Eventually, she said… “Well, there is one more option”.  She’d said she’d never done it before but she knew midwives who had done it successfully.  It is a home induction.  Pitocin is applied directly to the cervix on a piece of gauze attached to a string or a tampon after your water is manually broken.  She said she’d heard that the contractions can be pretty intense though.  I said that I needed time to think about it and she said I had until 10pm when she’d have to head home for the night.  I asked my husband who felt strongly that only I could make this decision so I pondered for an hour or so.  I imagined giving birth at the hospital and I just couldn’t fathom that for myself.  It seemed to me that if I was going to be induced anyway I may as well do it at home and still have the birth I’d planned to some degree.

I called Michelle and she said “OK, I’m coming over and I’ll call Mindy (the doula)”.  They arrived around 10pm and talked me through the process.  At about 11pm she induced labor.  My contractions began within a half hour and were intense from the start.  They were about 3 minutes apart right away.  Because I was probably going to be laboring for a while we all went to bed although I didn’t actually sleep.  At this point I hadn’t slept since Tuesday night because I took the Castor Oil on Wednesday and wasn’t able to sleep on Wednesday night.  I then labored all night on Thursday so I still hadn’t slept on Friday morning.  Michelle and Mindy took turns checking my BP/heart rate and the baby’s heart rate every hour all night.  Friday morning came and it was sunny and beautiful.  I was almost getting used to the contractions because they’d been about the same for 12 hours.  I made everyone tea and then Michelle, Mindy and I walked around the neighborhood where I had to literally hang on to every tree I passed to ease the pain of the contractions.    By the time we’d arrived back home I’d been laboring for 14 hours at about the same rate.  Michelle said she was going to head out for a bit and Mindy would stay but if I needed her back to just call and she come right back.  She later told me that she often does that because people seem to look to her to take away the pain which she has no control over and if she leaves they get this renewed strength because they realize that they have to do it alone.

Right after she left the contractions seemed to intensify to an ungodly level.  I thought, “oh no, I can’t do this”.  Actually, I said it out loud… more than once.  I’d already been all over the house in every possible position to try and get some relief which wasn’t working.  Mindy and my husband were taking turns putting some counter-pressure on my back and I can’t even remember how many times I was in and out of the shower which was the only thing that felt good.  Thankfully, my husband forced me to eat and drink the whole time which I think is why I was able to hang in there so long especially not having slept in days.  I had a pool in the house but I wasn’t allowed in until I was at least 8cm. because my water had been broken and they didn’t want to risk infection.  Michelle had done a pelvic exam before she left and I was 4cm (this was only the 3rd pelvic exam I’d had throughout the whole pregnancy, yay!).

At around 4pm my contractions closed in to about 1 minute apart and almost unbearable.  All I could think was “if I was at the hospital I’d ask for drugs right now”.  Luckily I didn’t have that option because clearly I was strong enough to handle it I just didn’t know it.  I was exhausted as well so I was falling asleep between contractions and then being woken up by severe pain.  I was sometimes having 2 or 3 contractions in a row without time in between which was the hardest.  I felt like we were getting close to the finish line so I asked Mindy to call Michelle which she promptly did and Michelle arrived at around 4:30pm.  She then did another pelvic exam which was the most pain I’d felt up to that point and then said the magic words, “You’re 8cm, you can get into the pool!”.  Ah, relief, kind of.  The weightlessness was wonderful and my husband was behind me which felt perfect.  At around 5pm I asked how much longer it would be and Michelle said, “you’ll have a baby by 6:30pm”.  I know that doesn’t seem like a long time but when you are in the thick of it like that she may as well have said 20 more hours.  I had always said and truly thought that I’d be a quiet laborer but it turns out that I’m a screamer.  It just helps to let energy flow out of your body from some place other than your uterus and vagina.  It actually helps with the pain if that makes any sense.  Luckily, the neighbors didn’t call the police!

From 4:30 to 6:45pm I screamed like a banshee.  And, after a day filled with sunshine, it started pouring rain and thundering like crazy which lasted until I gave birth!  It is truly the most powerful experience I’ve ever had.  I could feel my body pushing the baby out and although Michelle would tell me to push through the contractions it didn’t feel right so I’d stop and wait for the next one.  I hadn’t realized that they had listened to the baby’s heart rate and it was down to 80 from 130.  They had pulled up the oxygen tank and everything which terrified my husband but I was so “in the zone” that I didn’t even notice.  I said “am I almost done?” and she said “the bay is just crowning now”.  I couldn’t believe it, it felt like I was passing a watermelon already.  She said “reach down and feel the head”.  When I did I realized my baby had a head full of hair!  They just kept encouraging me to keep going because I’d have a baby soon.

At about 6:30pm after the loudest screams I’d ever uttered I birthed the head.  Again, I wasn’t told until later that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice.  She suddenly said, “you have to turn over onto your hands and knees and push this baby out in the next ten seconds!”.  It was clear she was serious so my husband helped me flip and I just forced that baby out.  He officially arrived at 6:45pm.  It is kind of funny but it really feels like a baby’s little body coming out.  After the head is out there is no “real” pain to speak of.  I was so pooped that I didn’t even turn around right away until my husband said “turn around, hold your baby”.  This moment, seeing my son for the first time, erased not only all of the pain from the labor but any pain I’d ever felt in my lifetime.  I was staring into his eyes and he was staring into my eyes and I just felt love coursing through my body at an unbelievable rate.  I hadn’t even thought to see the sex until Michelle said, “hey, it’s a boy!” which I’d always suspected.  My husband said, “oh my god, we have a son”.  He didn’t even cry until hours later, I had given him the gentle birth he deserved and it was amazing.

After the birth I continued having contractions and after 3 contractions I birthed the placenta.  Michelle had my husband cut the cord after I birthed the placenta which was pretty cool, to see him attached to the placenta like that.  There was a little feeling of sadness when the cord was cut that I hadn’t expected.  Like, “oh, you’re your own person now and we won’t be attached anymore”.  Later you realize that you are attached with an invisible cord that can never be cut.  Michelle eventually said,  “well, what’s his name?”.  We had two names picked out for each sex but we both agreed immediately that his name would be Omen Thunder and so it is.  We climbed out of the pool (with help) and went to lay in our bed with our newborn son.  We just stared at his beautiful naked body in awe for hours.  Michelle and Mindy cleaned the house, did laundry, emptied the pool and just made it look like it never happened which I didn’t realize until I got up hours later (angels!).  Michelle helped me shower and then weighed and measured Omen who came in at 7lbs. 10oz. & 20 in. long.  After Michelle and Mindy left we just snuggled in bed as a family until 3am.

After 20 hours of labor and another 8 hours after that you’d think I would be passed out but as soon as I gave birth this surge of energy came through me and I felt like I could run a marathon!  All those happy hormones were making me high on life and I couldn’t have felt more at peace with the world.  Later that night, after my husband suggested we get some sleep, I just swaddled him and placed him between us where he  still, at 10 months old, sleeps and I still stare at him in amazement every night before bed.

Good luck to all the future mommies out there!

What a wonderful story, Jenny; thank you for sharing!

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