This week while at a day camp held by my town, in a local park, a man bought my son a soda from a vending machine. While my son is fine and nothing bad happened, we still do not know who this man was and when I think of the “could have’s” in this situation I feel the blood drain from my body and my heart race. I cannot fathom that I could have sent my sweet, sweet 5 year old to a day camp and he may have been abused or gone missing or worse all while being “watched” by camp counselors.
We have talked about strangers to my son before and last night when we talked to him again he said so innocently “but Mom he was a nice stranger!” I knew I had failed him as a parent. I have failed to teach him how to keep himself safe in situations when I am not present. I have failed him to trust his instincts and be aware that not adults can be counted on to be nice to small children, even when they act nice. Needless to say although I am terrified I know I need to arm myself with information and teach my child in a different way about strangers.
Over the next few weeks I plan on letting you know what resources I find, what seems to work with a 5 year old and what fails to resonate. I plan on bugging Kelly and Shannon to put the resources I find in the store. I also hope that you can all learn from mistake and make your family safer.
Stacey
Tags: Stranger Danger
Stacey –
At least he came home and was able to talk to you about it. You have kept lines of communication open with your little one – you haven’t failed as a parent.
I’ve found that just reminding my 3 yr old that even though a person is nice, if it’s not mommy or daddy (grandparents live too far away to be anything but conceptual), the person could harm her and she should find an adult she knows and talk to them right away.
I actually got the chills from reading this Stacey. It can be so scary out there as parents. I’m looking forward to reading the information you find on teaching our children how to be safe. Of course Kelly and I are more than happy to add valuable resources whenever we can.
Rad kids is a police program that just taught my 4 1/2 year old and 7 year olds just this kind of thing!!
I am looking forward to your updates
Stacey, please don’t be so hard on yourself…you are a FABULOUS parent. Some moms would simply be thankful that their child wasn’t hurt and be done with it. You, on the other hand, are taking action and realizing that your child needs an extra lesson (which, I’m sure, most kids would) that not all strangers are nice. You are a fabulous parent (I know that for sure) – give yourself some credit
Have you ever seen that oprah episode (check Oprah.com) where they are talking with moms at a park about stranger safety and the moms are all ” my child would never … blah blah while over their shoulder the camera is filming them being LURED AWAY ….. !!!YOU SHOULD NOT BLAME YOURSELF.what camp was this? I hope you gave them holy hell – how did … Read More this happen – !!!!! I would call the director ( at home , during supper) , whoever oversees the rec dept, the town hall, etc…… were the police contacted? they should be informed – something like this was happening in NK years ago – people spoke up, police kept an extra informed eye out-
of course children do not understand – we make ” a stranger” out to be scary – which , of course , means scary looking/acting. The John Walsh DVD-the safe side? staying on the safe side? are VERY good – even for a 5 year old….. I also have told my kids that they should ALWAYS find a mom with kids – SHE will help you. thinking of you, deep breath!
I am struggling with the same thing here. How to teach my four year old about strangers, but not instill so much fear into him that he is terrified of anyone and everyone. It’s a fine and difficult line. I’ll be VERY interested to see what you can come up with.
First I want to thank you all for the positive supportive comments…actually brought tears to my eyes. I think the Town Parks & Recs Dept *did* take it seriously (maybe not so much his counselor). They did two outstanding things…hired an extra 30-something adult to be at the camp and contacted the police department. The chief of police actually called me, got a description of the person (JT knew his shirt color & hair color and aproximate age -older than Daddy younger than his Grandfather). They also reviewed security tapes from the area but didn’t see anything. The Chief also went to the park to -in his words- “scare the crap outta the counselors.”
I think the issue is two-fold, my need to educate him on strangers and the responsibility of the Parks & Rec. Dept. to watch my child while in their care.
In the end John & I decided not to send him back to camp…this week would have been his last week there anyways and frankly we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives regretting a decision so JT could play 4-square for 5 more days. Would we send him back there next summer…maybe, once he’s a little older, a little less impulsive, and I am more secure in the supervision.
Hi Amy…I am totally on task on finding resources. I leanred very quickly that Mommy & Daddy talks aren’t enough. I will let you know what I find!
I forgot about that episode until now…yes exactly he wasn’t a scary bad man, he bought him a soda! I do need to say I think that it was innocent, a man bought a kid a soda on a hot summer day, my husband said he would have done the same…but it doen’t take away my fear at all.
Thank you Mary. I guess it goes back to my first blog post…it’s always something when working and parenting and making choices. Thank you for the support.
Thank you Dawn! I will add it to my list to check out!
Obviously I would rather have you buy more strollers for the store (a girl can never have enough strollers!) but I look forward to helping you gals review these products and add something new to the fabulous mix at Bellani.
Thank you Amanada. I am trying to not ask him over and over about it…even though I want to know every detail and want to know who it was, things I never will know, I just need to know he was safe after and move on with trying to teach him to think about strangers in a different way.