There I was carrying my oh-so-discreet pump back from the Mother’s Room and I stopped to talk to a coworker, when I went to pick up the pump I noticed that milk that I had just pumped had started leaking from a container. That was it. I felt my face get hot and eyes get wet…I was crying at work…over milk. It was of course not just any milk, it was my milk and at the time it was the sole source of nutrition for my child. It was liquid gold that every week I ran the marathon to provide enough for the baby. I made it a full year breastfeeding my youngest but there were many days I would dream of throwing the pump out the window.

Now I see new mothers waiting to get into the mother’s room at work. I stop and chat, ask how it’s going and cheer them on because I know it’s a struggle to pump and work, and manage meetings and a boss, juggle childcare all on very little sleep. I find they ask me a question or two about how to keep juggling everything. My first response is always “Do what works for you.” Meaning if you need supplement, that OK, if you need to stop pumping at work and only breastfeed morning and night, that’s OK too, and if you need to stop breastfeeding all together but it reduces your stress and saves your sanity, that is OK too. I am a big supporter of breastfeeding, but I am bigger supporter of retaining your sanity.

I wanted to share some things that worked for me while pumping at work.

1. Make a clear plan. That meant not being embarrassed to leave a meeting for 20 minutes and take care of business. It also meant blocking two half hour blocks in my calendar so I was “unavailable” for a portion of each day. You simply can’t feel guilty about it. You are not “cheating” your company of time (those people who go out and smoke 5x a day, yeah they are cheating the company). In fact studies show breastfed babies get sick less, meaning you will be at the office more and home less with a sick infant.

I was lucky to have a mother’s room available to me but if your office does not have a space request one be made. The one at my company had a touchpad lock for secure access, a nice comfortable chair and a sink – heaven! It was an old storage closet so that just shows you for a few hundred bucks any space can be great. If your company won’t make a designated space ask for keys to an available office or another underused space. No woman should have to pump in a restroom, that is neither private nor relaxing.

2. Pump pump pump. I know I saw a big difference in output if I didn’t pump at least twice a day on the weekends. Yup pumping on the weekends is a huge pita, no other way to call it. But at least for me, it kept the production volume up for the week, and gave me a little cushion for the week if I missed a pumping session due to work stuff. Also I always pumped first thing in the morning. Sometimes with the baby (he on one side pump on the other), sometimes I got up extra early to pump before she got up. I know you hate me right now for the mere suggestion, but it helped me.

3. Improving my technique. As weird as that sounds sometimes I would rush and not get a ‘good’ pump at work. Instead I found warming a damp washcloth in a microwave (please be careful!!), breast compressions and a minute or two of relaxation breathing helped me produce more milk than running harried to the pump room and trying to get done as fast as possible.

If things aren’t going how you expected when pumping at work, take a step back read up and evaluate what is the right thing for you and your family. There are tons of resources on the internet (http://kellymom.com is my favorite). Additionally Kelly and Shannon are certified lactation consultants and we are so lucky to have great local resources. Also I saw on the Bellani Twitter account that the Central RI La Leche League is holding meetings at the store now (more on that here) and that is wonderful support organization. Best of all it meets Saturday to support working moms as well!!!

I am interested in hearing what worked for other Mom’s.  Please chime in on the comments section and help other mom’s through this challenging time.

-stacey

For the past 3 years Kelly and I have wanted to go to the Toy Fair in NY. Normally in January we are recovering from the holiday rush and still receiving inventory from the ABC Kids show in September. The thought of making the trek to another show seemed overwhelming. After three years we have our grove down and are ready to go!

Next Saturday February13th, Kelly and I will head to NY to pick out some great new toys for Bellani. It’s feels like the week before our first ABC Kids show 4 years ago. The anticipation on what we will find, the excitement we feel; like kids in a candy store because we can’t wait to show everyone what we found. We will be posting pictures, blogging, facebooking (is that a word?) and twittering.

If there is anything you have been wanting to see, let us know before we go so we can keep an eye out.

-Shannon

This little topic has been nagging me forever (8 months to be precise) and what better place to post this than a community of parents, specifically moms who can help another mom out.  Here goes.

Last May, my V. did all sorts of magical things and a baby came out of it.  I did a happy dance and just stood in awe of its powers.  After having a baby come out of my abdomen, a VBAC was my Mt. Everest.  I thought to myself, “I’ve done it!  We’ve done it!  Hip, hip, hooray!”  I celebrated like that was it - the baby’s here, V. your work is done, back to business as usual.

Wrong.  Upon my lovely 6 week visit to my midwife, I was asked if I had given contraception a thought.  Contraception?  A thought?  Yeah, no my baby’s been screaming her head off non-stop; I haven’t had time to think about anything other than trying to soothe her let alone the horizontal mambo and any future children.  I asked my midwife for a rundown of some options taking into account that I’m breastfeeding and will do so for as long as my daughters and I see fit.

She shared some choices with me but basically said my best bet was an IUD, good old Mirena.  When she explained it to me my gut instinctively did not like it.  I’m still not thrilled about it.  It sounds completely unnatural.  The runner-up was the mini-pill but she said if I didn’t take it at the same time everyday, my chances of being pregnant were relatively high.  Those weren’t my only choices but the ones she recommended.  My husband and I are pretty sure we’re done having kids but pretty sure and sure sure aren’t 100% certain so a permanent option is not an option.

Baby is now 8 months old and I’ve yet to make a decision about the IUD or my other choices.  I’ve asked around and I’ve heard nothing but raves for Mirena.  Well, except for my good friend who had it inserted and then it somehow went missing into her abdomen and she had to have surgery to have it removed.  Then I read this and I’m even more freaked out.  I want to follow my gut but don’t want any surprises.  I know lots of people love the IUD but my instincts just aren’t crazy about it.  What have you ladies done?  What do you use and recommend?

~Carla~

what is that thing that has been nagging you for the last few weeks? Is it to read more each day with your child? Or to finish an adult book?  Maybe to upload your holiday photos off of the camera.

Why let it continue to be a pressure inside of you.  Do it! Do whatever it is that haunts you each day.  Just get that one thing done today.  Let everything else go.  I already did my one thing.

kelly

Breastfeeding has been a wonderful journey for me.  It began with my toddler who, to this day at 2.5, still is magically soothed and calmed by nursing.  It continues now as she and her sister, almost 9 months,  share in their love of mama’s milk.  When I was pregnant with my toddler, I approached breastfeeding as a whatever happens, happens type deal.  When all went smoothly, I decided I wouldn’t set a time for nursing to end.  I didn’t feel like it was my choice to make, kind of like if my waiter came over mid-meal, fork rising for me to take a bite, and just swept my meal away right out from under me.

For my family, I believe weaning will happen when all parties involved are mutually ready.  I’m still happy nursing and my toddler doesn’t have an issue with it, so on we go.  I’m not the preachy type so I don’t wave my breastfeeding flag for all to see.  Again with my mantra- to each their own.  However, if someone asks, and they have, I am always up front about the fact that I’m still nursing my toddler.  I find that people are quite curious about how it all works once your child gets a bit older.  In case you were curious, here’s how it has worked out for our family.

• She nurses primarily for nap time and in the evenings before bed.  From time to time, if we spend a long run of days together  without me working, she’ll nurse a bit during the day.
• I nursed her throughout my pregnancy with our second child and all went well.  They say breastmilk may change in flavor or your supply may dry up during pregnancy, therefore, leading to weaning but it wasn’t the case for me.  I think each woman is different.  Be sure to speak with your doctor, midwife or lactation professional if you are pregnant and wish to continue nursing.
• It is tricky but completely possible to nurse a two year old and a baby.  First I get my baby settled in and comfy, then I let the toddler find her own comfy spot out of the way of her sister.  It’s just as tricky and easy to figure out as carrying the two of them.
• When my 2nd was born my toddler went on breastfeeding overdrive.  Anytime my newborn wanted to nurse so did she, which means she was nursing all of the time.  I ate like a beast for the first two - three months and practically had an IV of water running I was so thirsty.  I didn’t mind it, though, because I had to nurse my newborn so it wasn’t something that was taking additional time.
• I cant’ stress enough how important it was for me to eat constantly.  It is exhausting to nurse to children at once.  I had three big meals a day and a gazillion snacks.  If I didn’t eat enough, I’d feel awful.  I kept of healthy snacks within arm’s reach.
• Nursing the newborn and toddler at once was draining but emotionally worth it.  Both my toddler and I were able to feel really connected during our littlest one’s colicky phase.
• Yes, from time to time at a not so convenient time (beginning of the 2nd half of The Nutcracker in our 2nd row seats) my toddler wants to nurse.  I’m a discreet nurser by choice so depending on the location, I’ll drop boob and feed or find a quiet place for us.  I’ve found since my toddler is so big, compared to her sister, I naturally reveal less if I nurse in public.  (BTW - The Nutcracker was a fluke incident resulting from lack of  a nap and sensory overload and excitement being her first time at a ballet performance)
• Yes, there’s an end to nursing.  But I don’t know when it is.  I’m content to keep going.  No, she will not go to high school on the boob.
• We continue to breastfeed because both my toddler and I want to.  The moment either of us isn’t happy with it, then we’ll start to take steps towards weaning.

I didn’t know this was something women did.  From what I’d read and conversations I’d had with other moms, one seemed to be the magical number.  However, since spending more time at Bellani, I’ve heard many a mother mention they’re breastfeeding beyond the one year mark, some even past two.  While I do believe any length of breastfeeding is successful, I wanted to share my experience so other moms considering weaning or continuing going would know they’re not alone.  Let’s hear it for the boob!

~Carla~

Image via Wolfgang Staudt

I thought I’d update last week’s post with our journey to the farmers’ market this week.  I planned ahead and even told Dessa our trip to the market included a nap.  I’m happy to say it was a roaring success!  I have had kettle corn to prove it.  I almost didn’t want to leave it was all going so well but plans with family had us on our way.

I also wanted to share a few thoughts on how I view tantrums.  It can be really, really easy to feel exhausted, defeated, challenged, at your wit’s end, head butted, frustrated, or even like you’re talking to the wall when you and your little one tackle a tantrum.  In the moment of a tantrum there’s nothing else to say besides, “It sucks.”  Lately, though, I’ve been trying to be a little brighter in the midst of those challenging moments.

Last week I share some observations about tantrums and what feels like as a parent during one.  This week, I’m sharing with you my perspective on them and how I get through them.

-My daughter is amazingly well behaved in public (aside, of course, from our trip to the market).  When it’s just the family, however, she is quick to act out.  Given the options, I’d much rather she be an angel in public and, ahem, fiesty with me and my husband.

-I try to remind myself that the fight in her is a facet of her personality - strong willed, independent, determined.  As parents we’re very proactive in encouraging all those traits so I guess we’ve only got ourselves to blame.

-Like I mentioned before I check to see what role I’ve played in everything.  Food or sleep, anyone?

-This is one that really hit home for me.  I read somewhere that children are more likely to act out/throw tantrums with their parents because they trust them.  They aren’t going to be as likely to test their boundaries with someone they don’t trust.  I keep this in mind and try to remember to feel somewhat honored to have my daughter’s trust.  She’s using her interactions with me to determine her own place in the world.

-Whenever I feel like I’ve lost all patience, I remind myself that how I behave during one of her tantrums is going to affect her own relationships.  Every interaction, I believe, is a memory of some sort that can manifest itself in her life at some point.  I want to give her good examples to hold onto.

-I remind myself that this is just a phase.  One day we’ll sit on the beach together as adults and chat as women, as friends.  The terrible twos will only be a distant memory.  It seems like everything now but it’s really just a speck in our lives.

Do you have your own tantrum wisdom that helps you get by?  I’d love to learn about it; feel free to share!

~Carla~

via Smitten Kitchen

As promised, here is Kelly’s Winter Squash Soup recipe.  The temperature is chilly so this is the perfect cozy meal.  If you give it a try, let us know what you think!

Winter Squash Soup (I used butternut)
Saute 1/2-1 Sliced Onion with a little thyme, 1 TB of butter
Add salt and pepper when onions are soft
Then add 2 lbs ish of diced squash, cover with 5 cups of Chicken Broth (or Vegetable
Stock)
Add 1 Chopped Granny Smith Apple
Add two pieces of crumbled, cooked bacon (or not!)
here I add a little garlic or cumin depending on what we feel like

Simmer until tender, and then puree as desired.  If you want to add some fat, you can add
2 Tablespoons of sour cream to the puree, or throw in 1/2 cup of Half & Half for a
creamier consistency.

Happy Eating!

In case you didn’t hear, our very own Kelly was featured in the new release “Feeding Baby Green: The Earth-Friendly Program for Healthy, Safe Nutrition” by Alan Greene, M.D.  I love a good book on nutrition, particularly nutrition for little ones.  I’m the
mom who has on more than one occasion served ice cream as dinner (and breakfast and lunch - though not all on the same day).  I didn’t grow up in a household where nutrition was part of the discussion for creating family meals.  Nutrition took a backseat to flavor.  So I am in awe of moms like Kelly who can combine good nutrition with good tasting food.  Here the ice cream serving mom picks at the brain of the Martha Stewart mom.

Kelly, first off congrats on being included in the book!  Can you share a bit more about the philosophy you wrote about in the book?

Dr.  Greene has a great way of encouraging families to try new things  early on so that your child will be a more well-rounded eater.   I feel similarly, and wrote about how easy it can be to do that with  what you already are cooking.

How did your own upbringing influence your approach to food with  your family?

Growing up my father was a very picky eater, and my mom  a very bland cook.  For many, many years we were raised as  vegetarians.  When I went out into the world and started trying so  many new things I knew that I wanted my children to be far more  adventurous with their food.  Food then became more of a passion of  mine, and I’ve found my children want to be part of my hobbies.

You are a mom of three and run your own business.  How do you find the time to make nutritious meals?

Some weeks and months I balance it  pretty well.  I’m a big fan of pre-chopping lots of vegetables on  grocery shopping day.  I also batch cook, I try and get four or five  meals done at a time on a day or evening off.  I also have phases of  making the best choices that I can in the Trader Joes Frozen Food  section.

Make me feel better.  Do you ever do take out?

Of course!  My  husband and I love to eat out, and so do our children.  What is  different about our take out is that my children
will ask for  California Rolls, or a Burrito, or their current favorite (although  not terribly nutritious) Boneless Buffalo Wings.

How do you involve your kids in the cooking process?  Do they all naturally love to be in the kitchen?

Our play area, dining room,  and kitchen are all open to each other.  You pretty much have to be  part of my cooking!  I spend a great deal of time at our little  Island area where I can see the other rooms.  From early on the kids  have always helped cook.  Caden’s knife skills were really strong by  three years old, and recently I started teaching him about ways to  dice onions.  He enjoys the methodology in baking, and the exact  measurements of things.  Abi is all about watching things mix up.   She also finds it incredibly interesting to talk about where things  have come from, and how they get to the plate. Emilia just wants to  try
everything, so she does!

What are your top three crowd pleasing  recipes that are surprisingly healthy?

I asked my husband the other day what his favorite meal in house is, and he told me that I never make the same thing twice so it is hard to name a favorite!  I’m always on the search for something new!  A simple one in our house right now is Baked Eggplant Pizzas.  I bake breaded eggplant, put a little tomato sauce on top and then cover in cheese.  The kids make them it themselves
right at the table.  We pretend like the eggplant is pizza crust.  Super easy to make ahead of time and freeze too! My pasta sauce is an adaptation of Shannon’s and that is always on hand at our house.  I use tomatoes, pureed sweet potato, pureed carrots,
cannelini beans and cheese.  After is has simmered for an hour I puree it all down.  The kids never think twice about it.

Since it has gotten so cold recently we are eating a lot of soup.  Kids love soup, and so do parents.  Soup is so easy to throw a lot into with no one complaining.  Just yesterday I made a lovely Winter Squash Soup.  The hint with this soup is letting the
kids use day old bread, or croutons for texture.  (Check back tomorrow for this tasty recipe!)

Aside from Dr. Greene’s book, what other food/nutrition books do you recommend for parents?  Or for the time starved, what websites are a good reference? I’m addicted to the Annabel Karmel books.  I also use RecipeZaar.com almost every day.  What I love about it is the nutritional information on the left.  I know my children need lots of healthy fats in their diet, but their parents don’t.  If you can’t figure out why food is important to your little one I think a parent should read NDD (Nutritional Deficit Disorder) written by Dr. Sears.  Although, I can’t say my kids would drink any of his shakes. (Carla says: Surprisingly, my toddler loves green shakes or any kind of healthy shake, so worth a try!)

Now that Bellani has it’s own published foodie expert, when can we pick your brain again? Speed dial in the kitchen?  Facebook message?  Text on demand?

You can call me at home but I won’t be able to hear you over my children.  If you have a food-related question a great place to ask is either on the blog or facebook.  You will be amazed how many parents have the same questions, posting in a public way
you will not only get my answer, but usually a parent or two can chime in as well!  Another fabulous way to learn a great deal more is to sign up for one of our Baby Food  Making Workshops. The next class for families who want to learn more about First Foods  is January 21st at 6 pm.  For families who want to dig a little deeper, we have a Beyond  Avocado group meeting on February 25th at 6pm.

Thank you, Kelly, for letting us into your kitchen!  Be sure to check back tomorrow for the soup recipe!

Image by peasap

Two weekends ago,we ventured out in the snow to the Pawtucket/Wintertime Farmers’ Market and had a blast.  It’s the perfect place for kids to run around and learn a little something about eating local.  After we left, I couldn’t stop thinking about the maple syrup kettle corn popcorn from Nettie’s Kettle Corn.  I’m talking days later I still couldn’t stop thinking about it so I decided I’d go again this past weekend even though I’d be solo with both girls.

The day started out lovely.  Happy toddler,  happy baby, happy dad off to work and happy mom.  Girls were dressed and in the car by 9:30am for the 11am start of the market.  I made a quick trip for diapers, wipes and a few other essentials we’d run out of.  I made it all the way to the car and had to run back in to take the toilet training toddler to potty.  All smooth sailing!  The baby fell asleep on the drive to Pawtucket which made for a perfect 20 minute nap.  I pulled around the back of Hope Artist Village and peered into the back seat to check on my toddler who was oddly silent.  I turned just in time to watch her eyes close (warning sign 1).

With the sweet taste of kettle corn on my mind I ignored the warning sign and told her we were going inside to eat some apples and listen to music.  She perked right up and I pulled into a parking space.  I hopped in the back seat to wake up Farrah and change a diaper to which Dessa burst into tears and told me I couldn’t change a diaper because it was time to go inside (warning sign 2).  I assured her we were still going inside but the diaper change had to be done.  I told her I knew she was tired and she could sit in her stroller to relax and enjoy the market.  She was soothed and waited, though not patiently, for the diaper change to be done.

I make my way nto the farmers’ market looking like a Bellani billboard - Farrah in her Ergo baby carrier, Haba binky chain dangling off the side, SkipHop diaper bag on one shoulder, Uppa Baby G-Lite on the other, Sophie the Giraffe squeaking in my pocket.  When I got inside, I felt like I’d conquered Mt. Everest.  The satisfaction of actually getting inside with both of them and all my shtuff was enough to make my day.  But the kettle corn had me on a journey.

I picked up some yummy Indian food and parked us just outside the circle of kids listening and dancing to  music.  I gave Dessa her water bottle and it landed on the ground (warning sign 3); naively I thought it had fallen but really she threw it.  The next few moments are a blur.  I take the water bottle and tell her she can’t throw things.  She bursts into tears.  She starts thrashing her body in her stroller as if she’s trying to use her chest to burst through the straps.  Tears are falling.  She’s crying in a scream-ish kind of way.  Farrah, in the Ergo, is smiling from ear to ear and enjoying the sights.  Me?  I try to pull into an empty space to talk to Dessa unaware we’re past the talking point, attempting to stay as zen as possible.

How did my trip to the farmers’ market end?  We left immediately after my failed attempt at talking to the tantruming toddler.  A sweet little girl came up to see why Dessa was crying, as all young children do when one of their own seems upset.  Dessa, saint that she usually is, tried to kick the poor girl.  I was mortified, smiled and offered sincere apologies to the parents and walked, toddler screaming, baby happy as could be straight to the car.

Toddlerhood is quite amazing.  I can go days (ok maybe a day) without remembering how challenging this age is and then all hell breaks loose.  I thought I’d share this story for all those parents who are having one of those days.  You’re not alone.

For kicks, here are some observations/tips from my tantrum experiences:

• Onlookers: please refrain from attempting to appease my child.  Your heart is in the right place (and I really appreciate it) but my child’s brain is not.  Just get out of the way so we can get to our car ASAP!
• If you’re child has a tantrum in a place with lots of other children, on your way out you will feel like you’re walking through a sea of angels - skipping, singing, holding hands, sharing, halos and all as your kid screams bloody murder.
• Do NOT ignore warning signs.  Ever.  Ever.  Eva.
• I can’t imagine what my toddler thinks of her younger sister who observed the whole thing as though nothing were happening.  It’s like having an argument with someone and your siblings is standing right there just smiling in lalaland!  It might be tough for some toddlers but it’s a great source of energy for me when I’m at my wits end.  I couldn’t lose my cool with Miss Drool smiling away.
• Evacuate fist, then talk.  Lesson learned =)
• Feed them and let them sleep.  Feed them and let them sleep.  Feed them and let them sleep.

After we got home and took a long two hour nap, Dessa awoke on cloud nine surely having dreamt of a field of puppies and bunnies and trays of chocolate ice cream, mac and cheese and pizza.  Me?  I’ll be dreaming of maple syrup kettle corn popcorn.

What are your tantrum taming tactics?