photo credit flickr -Sofia Katariina

1. Empty large plastic coffee “cans” the Foldgers/Maxwell house type make magnificent barf buckets (large round top, a handle, and you can throw it away)

2. Pack a extra top for Mom in your car. You never know when you will be collarteral damage to an exploding diaper, or when a little spit up is anything but little.

3. Sometimes its either laugh or cry. I often opt for both.

4. Even if it’s cold outside a little fresh air can relieve everyone’s stress. You bought winter coats for a reason! Go out and enjoy!!

5. Have an escape plan. When we go out to eat with the kids my husband always decide beforehand who takes the child with meltdown out to the car while the other person pays the check and gets the food to go. No we have never had to enact Plan B but it’s nice to have a backup. (we have had to take a little friend outside for a moment or two to pull it back together)

6. Leave the cart. Sometimes I have struggled through the grocery store and ended up really frustrated as I tried to manage a child who clearly didn’t want to be there with me. I need to learn that my sanity and not blowing the rest of the day is worth leaving the cart and trying again later.

Have a great weekend!!!

Stacey

How’s this for a Monday morning blog post (I know, it’s Tuesday)?  See, I had planned on reviewing Babble’s book, “Dirt Is Good For You”, for which I had mediocre expectations.  I categorized it amongst all the other let’s-rant-about-parenting-and-be-really-witty books (I don’t read them, I assume they’ll annoy me).  The reason the book review didn’t make it until now is because I had to finish every story before I posted and I seriously couldn’t stop reading.  Yes, it rants about parenting.  Yes, it’s witty.  And yes, it exceeded my mediocre expectations.  And no, it didn’t annoy.

Wally Lamb, certainly not.  A humorous and entertaining peek into other parents’ lives who are going through the same things all parents go through?  Certainly.  Over a dozen writers share their quirky parenting snafu (addressing a friend’s request to nurse each other’s babies) or conundrum (raising kids in the city vs. the suburbs) or admit to things parents are not supposed to admit  (not being madly in love with your child from day one).  Each story covers a different perspective and angle on parenting.  In the end, it shows we can all mess up and toss around the same parenting riddles, and at the end of the day the kiddos will be alright.  Parenting, with all it’s quirks and headaches and tough choices, is just a right of passage; we (parents and children) all turn out fine in the end.

It’s been awhile since I came across a book I enjoyed which is why I went through this book so quickly (brought it home on Friday).  But it’s also a great book for picking up randomly and just reading a story or two.  Think of each one as a tasty bite sized nugget instead of a full sized meal.  Happy reading!

~Carla~

When I was pregnant with my first daughter two and a half years ago, I discovered the wonderful world of blogs.  And I have been addicted ever since.  I read blogs all the time.  I kid you not - All. The.  Time.  Interestingly, it’s where I get a lot of my information - on all sorts of topics: parenting, current events, shopping, food, etc.  Even though it’s a large part of my days, I don’t usually talk about the blogs I read with folks in real life.  It’s not a secret yet somehow it rarely makes it into conversation.  I think somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder if I’m the only geek blog surfing out there and playing on Twitter.  But, the once in a blue moon occasions when blogging becomes a topic of discussion, I find there are a lot of parents out there as blog-happy as I am; I am not alone.  So I thought I’d out myself as a blog lover and share with you some of my regular online spots.  Feel free to share your favorite places!

• Ohdeedoh- I can never get enough of this place.  A perfect stop for children’s design and nursery inspiration.
• Design Mom - Fun design picks for mom, baby and kids.
• Babble - Telling it how it is about life as a parent.
• Soule Mama - A peek inside the laid back life of a Maine mama.
• Girls Gone Child - One of those cool mamas I wish I knew in real life.
• Bloesem Kids - More cool kid design.
• Smitten Kitchen - Great recipes and beautiful food pictures.
• No Time For Flashcards - Can we say crafts galore?
• The Scoop -Lots of eye candy.

I’ll stop there lest you think I do nothing else all day but read blogs!

~Carla~

We’re all parents here so I figured I could openly chat about the topic of poop.  My toddler has, since she was about a year old, had issues with constipation.  At one point, it was so bad she’d be in tears pushing.  Our pediatrician at the time prescribed this powder laxative that seriously worked like a charm - poop galore!  We gave it to her twice and then decided we didn’t want her body to get used to pooping just because she had a laxative.  So what to do?

It’s been quite the adventure figuring out how to get our little girl regular.  I’ve talked to several parents at Bellani who have had similar issues so I know I’m not alone.  We’ve tried a whole lot of things and some things work and some things don’t; they work some of the time and sometimes not.  We’ve just made sure to keep our poop arsenal fully armed so we can try a variety of things.  I’m listing here what works for us (well, really her) and I hope you’ll add anything that’s worked for you.

Our Poop Arsenal

• We’ve learned when she’s constipated, not to load her up on fiber rich foods.  It doesn’t really help.
• On a regular basis, we try to make sure her diet is filled with lots of fiber.  However, it’s never a guaranteed she’ll eat everything we give her.  But if she’s in the mood here is a good list of fiber rich foods (that our kid likes, there are plenty more): barley, apples, beans, lots of whole grains, high fiber cereal.
• Lots and lots of water.  Prune juice, as well.
• Flax seed oil/meal has worked on pretty well for us.  We’ll put some of the oil in yogurt or a smoothie.  The meal we’ll disguise in tons of foods; she rarely ever notices it’s in there.
• Regular physical activity.  In the summer this one is a no brainer considering how much time we spend outdoors at playgrounds, beaches and just walking around.  In the cooler weather, though, we have to get creative.  You can take a gym class, bundle up and head to the playground, go sledding, exercise at home (our tot loves to use empty paper towel rolls as her “weights” to workout with us), have a dance party - have fun with it; the important thing is to get them moving.
• Massage has was worked really, really well.  I feel like every time I give her a good massage on her belly, there’s poop the next day.  I never got a chance to sign up for the Infant Massage Workshop but just picked up a book (like this one) and use the series of techniques specific for stomach issues.  Our daughter loves our special tummy massges and even asks for them sometimes.

What have you tried to get that poop moving?

~Carla~

Much of my family’s parenting style falls under what some might call attachment parenting (AP).  I’ve read a lot about AP and it really resonates with my instincts as a parent.  When I think about AP, I always think about how it applies to me and my husband.  How we promote attachment in our relationship with our girls.  Seldom do I give thought to how  my children are hard wired for attachment from day one, especially my youngest.

Farrah, our almost 9 month old, is an old pro at attachment.  She is seriously attached to me.  For awhile I thought it was nothing much different from my first daughter but quickly  realized she was doing things her own way.  For most of her short little life, she has had  a strong preference to be with me…all the time.  She loves her father and loves to play with him…when I’m near.  If I go too far for too long, then poor dad has a very cranky baby on his hands.  She doesn’t care for strangers unless she’s in my arms.  She won’t take a bottle and refuses to eat for anyone else.

Some folks might find it an issue.  And I won’t lie, it can be overwhelming because I want to be there all the time but to be realistic that’s just not possible.  I’m not complaining; it comes with the territory.  This is what I try to focus on: Her needs are unique; they’re part of the experiences of her life that will make her uniquely Farrah.  My experience with this serious attachment is also a lesson for my own life.  I focus on the fact that this age is just a blink of an eye in the big scheme of things, too soon she’ll be too cool for me and my hugs.  I think about what it teaches my two year old - how she learns to respond to someone else’s needs, how she will take this all in and maybe some day relate to her own children’s needs.

It’s not easy.  If you have an extremely attached baby, take a deep breath.  Try to find one person- your partner, grandparents, a friend, cousin, aunt or uncle - anyone who baby can connect with as well.  No one will replace mom but you never know who might tickle their fancy.  Figuring out who that person is (for me it’s my mother-in-law) means you slowly introduce your child to trusting and welcoming other people.  Remember one day they will slowly edge away from you towards other people.  Invest in a baby carrier; your child just wants to be near you she’s not looking to kill your productivity.  Even if she cries, leave her with your significant other.  Both of them need to figure it out little by little.  And don’t let anyone tell you you’re spoiling them but being too available to them.  Giving them the emotional support they need in their baby days, builds confidence.

Do you have an extremely attached baby?  How do you handle it?

~Carla~

There I was carrying my oh-so-discreet pump back from the Mother’s Room and I stopped to talk to a coworker, when I went to pick up the pump I noticed that milk that I had just pumped had started leaking from a container. That was it. I felt my face get hot and eyes get wet…I was crying at work…over milk. It was of course not just any milk, it was my milk and at the time it was the sole source of nutrition for my child. It was liquid gold that every week I ran the marathon to provide enough for the baby. I made it a full year breastfeeding my youngest but there were many days I would dream of throwing the pump out the window.

Now I see new mothers waiting to get into the mother’s room at work. I stop and chat, ask how it’s going and cheer them on because I know it’s a struggle to pump and work, and manage meetings and a boss, juggle childcare all on very little sleep. I find they ask me a question or two about how to keep juggling everything. My first response is always “Do what works for you.” Meaning if you need supplement, that OK, if you need to stop pumping at work and only breastfeed morning and night, that’s OK too, and if you need to stop breastfeeding all together but it reduces your stress and saves your sanity, that is OK too. I am a big supporter of breastfeeding, but I am bigger supporter of retaining your sanity.

I wanted to share some things that worked for me while pumping at work.

1. Make a clear plan. That meant not being embarrassed to leave a meeting for 20 minutes and take care of business. It also meant blocking two half hour blocks in my calendar so I was “unavailable” for a portion of each day. You simply can’t feel guilty about it. You are not “cheating” your company of time (those people who go out and smoke 5x a day, yeah they are cheating the company). In fact studies show breastfed babies get sick less, meaning you will be at the office more and home less with a sick infant.

I was lucky to have a mother’s room available to me but if your office does not have a space request one be made. The one at my company had a touchpad lock for secure access, a nice comfortable chair and a sink – heaven! It was an old storage closet so that just shows you for a few hundred bucks any space can be great. If your company won’t make a designated space ask for keys to an available office or another underused space. No woman should have to pump in a restroom, that is neither private nor relaxing.

2. Pump pump pump. I know I saw a big difference in output if I didn’t pump at least twice a day on the weekends. Yup pumping on the weekends is a huge pita, no other way to call it. But at least for me, it kept the production volume up for the week, and gave me a little cushion for the week if I missed a pumping session due to work stuff. Also I always pumped first thing in the morning. Sometimes with the baby (he on one side pump on the other), sometimes I got up extra early to pump before she got up. I know you hate me right now for the mere suggestion, but it helped me.

3. Improving my technique. As weird as that sounds sometimes I would rush and not get a ‘good’ pump at work. Instead I found warming a damp washcloth in a microwave (please be careful!!), breast compressions and a minute or two of relaxation breathing helped me produce more milk than running harried to the pump room and trying to get done as fast as possible.

If things aren’t going how you expected when pumping at work, take a step back read up and evaluate what is the right thing for you and your family. There are tons of resources on the internet (http://kellymom.com is my favorite). Additionally Kelly and Shannon are certified lactation consultants and we are so lucky to have great local resources. Also I saw on the Bellani Twitter account that the Central RI La Leche League is holding meetings at the store now (more on that here) and that is wonderful support organization. Best of all it meets Saturday to support working moms as well!!!

I am interested in hearing what worked for other Mom’s.  Please chime in on the comments section and help other mom’s through this challenging time.

-stacey

For the past 3 years Kelly and I have wanted to go to the Toy Fair in NY. Normally in January we are recovering from the holiday rush and still receiving inventory from the ABC Kids show in September. The thought of making the trek to another show seemed overwhelming. After three years we have our grove down and are ready to go!

Next Saturday February13th, Kelly and I will head to NY to pick out some great new toys for Bellani. It’s feels like the week before our first ABC Kids show 4 years ago. The anticipation on what we will find, the excitement we feel; like kids in a candy store because we can’t wait to show everyone what we found. We will be posting pictures, blogging, facebooking (is that a word?) and twittering.

If there is anything you have been wanting to see, let us know before we go so we can keep an eye out.

-Shannon

This little topic has been nagging me forever (8 months to be precise) and what better place to post this than a community of parents, specifically moms who can help another mom out.  Here goes.

Last May, my V. did all sorts of magical things and a baby came out of it.  I did a happy dance and just stood in awe of its powers.  After having a baby come out of my abdomen, a VBAC was my Mt. Everest.  I thought to myself, “I’ve done it!  We’ve done it!  Hip, hip, hooray!”  I celebrated like that was it - the baby’s here, V. your work is done, back to business as usual.

Wrong.  Upon my lovely 6 week visit to my midwife, I was asked if I had given contraception a thought.  Contraception?  A thought?  Yeah, no my baby’s been screaming her head off non-stop; I haven’t had time to think about anything other than trying to soothe her let alone the horizontal mambo and any future children.  I asked my midwife for a rundown of some options taking into account that I’m breastfeeding and will do so for as long as my daughters and I see fit.

She shared some choices with me but basically said my best bet was an IUD, good old Mirena.  When she explained it to me my gut instinctively did not like it.  I’m still not thrilled about it.  It sounds completely unnatural.  The runner-up was the mini-pill but she said if I didn’t take it at the same time everyday, my chances of being pregnant were relatively high.  Those weren’t my only choices but the ones she recommended.  My husband and I are pretty sure we’re done having kids but pretty sure and sure sure aren’t 100% certain so a permanent option is not an option.

Baby is now 8 months old and I’ve yet to make a decision about the IUD or my other choices.  I’ve asked around and I’ve heard nothing but raves for Mirena.  Well, except for my good friend who had it inserted and then it somehow went missing into her abdomen and she had to have surgery to have it removed.  Then I read this and I’m even more freaked out.  I want to follow my gut but don’t want any surprises.  I know lots of people love the IUD but my instincts just aren’t crazy about it.  What have you ladies done?  What do you use and recommend?

~Carla~